21 Years of Life
Well… my birthday just passed. And for me, birthdays have never been a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoy them. But I never really feel any different before or after. After all, I’m still the same person (except now I can drink. yay…)
So I sort of went into this birthday with this same mentality. But then I had a random thought: 21 years is a very long time…
Not a crazy revelation I suppose, but a revelation nevertheless.
So, naturally, I began looking back on the last 21 years. And as a sinner, redeemed by grace, here’s what I realized:
- God showed me forbearance and mercy for 19 years while I was in outright rebellion. And it’s not like he created me and then just let me run loose afterwards. Rather, he actively gave me life and breath every day of my life (Acts 17:25). For 19 whole years, He sustained me when I was wholly undeserving, pridefully chasing after vain idols. By no means did I deserve such grace. But when I was profaning his name in both word and deed, he showed me abundant mercy.
- However, He did far more than merely keeping me alive. I should never forget that He pursued me for just as long. Sadly, I think the beauty of this has lost its power over time. Perhaps I have forgotten what it means to be “…dead in the trespasses and sins in which [I] once walked…” (Eph. 2:1). Perhaps I have forgotten how steeped in sin I actually was not too long ago. But a short look back is enough to remind me of my helplessness. It was not by my own power that I came believe. I would never have chosen the path that left me broken before Him. But I’m so grateful that He pursued me and guided my steps. It was painful, but that brokenness has led me to find so much joy.
- And, now, for the last 2 years, I’ve slowly been learning what Paul meant by “…the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding….” I still sin, often and grievously. And sometimes the guilt and shame is even deeper than it’s ever been. After all, I know God’s word now. So many times I’ve told myself that “I should know better now” or “I have no excuse anymore.” But if I’ve come to know my sin more fully, I’ve also grown to know more fully the amazing grace that our God gives. He hasn’t stopped showing me undeserved mercy. Rather, He has promised that because of the righteousness of Christ, I will never stand condemned before Him (Rom 8:1). And He hasn’t stopped pursuing me. Rather, He has promised that he will work all things for my good and will mold me into the perfect image of Christ (Rom 8:28-29). He has been perfectly faithful to me thus far, and I know that He will continue to be faithful in the future.
But what was the point of me posting all this? Well, I now truly have a new reason to celebrate each and every year of life that God gives to me. But, by no means does this need to be confined to just a birthday.
I often take for granted the continual grace that I receive. But I hope to let each day I’m alive remind me of the steadfast love that God has shown me. Let us not forget this simple fact: Everyday, there is reason to rejoice.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice! - Philippians 4:4